The first writing I did in this blog wasn't actually supposed to be for like... a blog. It was supposed to be for a daily journal that I intended to keep and write small snippets of what I was thinking about in the moment. I quickly found myself unable to stay in the rhythm of doing that writing regularly, so the journal bit fell away. But before long I found myself given to the passions of an idea, one which compelled me so strongly I had to write to get it out of my head. It turned into something more of an essay, and then it happened again, and again, and that became what this is now.

I haven't written here for a while. In part that's because I haven't been gripped in the throws of something I needed to wrangle with words for a while. But also, as much as I am quite proud of those essays, they're not easy to write! It takes time, and work, and perfectionist that I am it's hard to feel I will be able to put down words on the page that will match what I have already created.

I've had a few different ideas buzzing around for a while that I kept thinking would eventually coalesce into a full Essay. And maybe eventually they will. But for now, perhaps it would be best to just mark down roughly what I'm thinking about and move on without spending much more time on it.

For now, it's the realization I had several months ago. For a long time, I had seen in sci-fi and futurism not much more than, say, distractions and rich folks afraid to die. I knew that there was a queer current in it -- people interested in exploring questions of taking ownership over bodies in novel and interesting ways, to shape them into forms they felt were representative. And like, when I see depictions of that in furry ways (anthros who also happen to be robots, not synths and protogens -- nothing against those, they're just not my thing), I think that's cool! But still missing something.

But at some point I realized that like, there's no reason that I have to limit myself to imagining robots or augmented bodies that walk on two legs, for example. If I wanted to imagine being a dog-shaped robot, that walked around on all fours, and still spoke in normal English, I absolutely could. Which is an interesting thought.

I don't have much more to say (other than maybe I would be interested to try having a quadrupedal body more than I previously realized). I suppose, overall... it's nice to feel like I have a pathway in to the sorts of imagination other people have had, that I can see myself in it in some way.

I have had thoughts about bodies, and what and why they are; I have had thoughts about transhumanism, and its... unfortunate anthropocentrism. But they aren't really coalescing into anything coherent, so until they do, I'll give myself permission to move on.